More Marital Bliss

me: Hey, I posted on my blog, about how you can't hear me.
Chris: I can hear you just fine, I just choose to ignore you.
me: WHAT?!?!
Chris: .....

From what I observe, this is 'selective hearing,' a condition that all men develop upon the placement of a wedding ring on their finger. This is similar to, but in a different form from, 'selective memory,' which women develop with the acquisition of the same jewelery:

Chris: Wifey, did you go to Target?
me: I think so....
Chris: What'd you get? Do you have the receipt?
me: Um, I don't remember....
Chris: I thought you said you were only going to pick up some laundry detergent.
me: Really? Did I? I don't remember that.
Chris: Is that a new dress?
me: ....